NANCY ARNOLD THERAPY
Mental health therapist specializing in couples and individual adults seeking help for healing and growth.
Charlotte, NC
what to expect
"That which is created in a relationship can be fixed in a relationship." - Dr. Murray Bowen, MD, Psych.
Our life boat
Back in the 1950's, Dr. Murray Bowen, MD, Psych., identified eight principles as he observed families interacting with their child hospitalized with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. No need for research papers, but we will spend some time as we get to know each other talking about how his theories apply to you and your situation so you have a sense of how your counseling will progress, if you choose to continue in my care. For starters, I believe we are created with two basic drives- to be an autonomous individual who is living in relationship with others. We desire for these two drives to be harmoniously in balance with one another, yet, despite our best efforts, they rarely are. It begins at birth with our mother, then our father, siblings, grandparents, neighbors, peers- they are all climbing into our life boat. We react and adjust according to how we believe we can keep the boat balanced hoping others will cooperate as we expect them to in order to stay afloat. Yet, we have moments (sometimes periods or seasons) when it feels like we will either tip over or sink. Our patterns of behavior emerge as we attempt to read the responses of the people with whom we are in relationship and navigate successfully. Unless something occurs to force us to seek change, these patterns then set and follow us into adulthood as we yearn for a sense of calm (or homeostasis) throughout our lifetime. When we can recognize how we have artificially brought balance out of imbalance with our relationship patterns, then we can choose what is working, and what we want to change.
Your life line
I believe that just as the family is a system, the body is a system and our wellness depends on each area running smoothly. In creating the counseling relationship, I will rely on you as your own personal authority to provide information and insights on what makes you unique. Your physical, social, mental, emotional, sexual, financial and spiritual portions of yourself interact so each is open to discussion during your time in session. If you are not healthy in one area, it is bound to affect the other areas of your life. How much or how little you choose to share about your life line is up to you. However, the more you share about your understanding of your world and the world around you, the more success we will have in putting together the team you need to move forward into a fully healthy lifestyle. This is the same in your relationships. When you come in as a couple, each person's participation is key to others understanding your unique perspective of the life boat you refer to as "we" to best understand what is working and what is not.
Navigation
If you choose to discuss your spirituality as a part of your counseling process, I have been trained to integrate the Christian faith theology with the family systems theoretical approach. I believe the truth of the Bible can be a valuable tool along with the internal Holy Spirit to guide toward understanding of how He wants our life to move forward. I am not the authority on how God is working in you or your spouse's life, but I can help you explore how He desires for you to find hope, healing and growth in this process.
However, if you prefer to not enter into a Christian integration approach and to stick strictly to theory- or whatever level of each you are comfortable with- I will honor that choice as we develop the counseling relationship. It is my desire to promote you making choices which are true to yourself to encourage you finding your best self and best self with others.